I’m attending leadership training for my data geek day job this week and one of the reading assignments talked about how your habits are rooted in your identity. The idea is that if you want to change your habits you need to start by changing that part of your identity. This got me thinking about my identity as an artist and a jeweler—both of which continue to feel a bit (or some days a lot) like falsehoods to me. Until I started making jewelry, I would have sworn to you that I had zero artistic talent. I’m the smart kid who’s good at academics. I’ve never excelled in any art or music class; couldn’t tell you the difference between a Picasso and a piccolo. And yet here I am pretending to be a “jewelry artist.” The same reading assignment advised me to spend time with people who have a similar identity to help understand what the habits of people with that identity look like in practice. Last week I attended my first meeting of the Women’s Jewelry Association Austin chapter and was faced with repeatedly answering the question “are you a jeweler?” as I made my way through various rounds of introductions. I answered yes, but each time felt a bit like I was lying. Apparently, repetition is also critical to the forming of habits, but I didn’t feel any more like a jeweler at the end of the evening than I did at the beginning. Did everyone at that event feel that way? Or am I the only one with imposter syndrome? I’ve seen the same ad for Rio Grande Jewelry Supply on YouTube over and over again which asks the question “what makes you a jeweler?” Turns out this is a surprisingly deep and existential question for a company that sells jewelry making supplies and it’s one for which I don’t have an answer. Maybe it’s a question of time invested in honing the craft. Will I feel like a jewelry artist when I’ve been doing this for a decade? 20 years? 30 years? Or maybe it’s a question of sales and success. Am I looking for external validation of my identity? In order to consider myself a jewelry artist do I need others to recognize and value my art? Whatever the case, I’m firmly rooted in my habits (aka addition) (aka obsession) of jewelry making and there’s really no turning back. Guess my identity will just have to try to catch up.
Blog text is entirely human generated. Image that accompanies the blog is AI generated.
DALL·E 2024-09-11 21.23.38 - An image that conveys the internal struggle of imposter syndrome for a studious academic type woman exploring her new identity as a jewelry artist.